


hell with it baby 'cause you're fine and you're mine and you look so divine

by ashintuku



Series: fox on the run [10]
Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Gen, Mild Language, Mild Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-28 21:01:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11426121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashintuku/pseuds/ashintuku
Summary: “Kraglin told me what happened, boy.”“Please don’t give me the birds and the bees talk,please.”





	hell with it baby 'cause you're fine and you're mine and you look so divine

“Cap’n, we need t’do somethin’ about Quill.” 

Yondu paused in his perusin’ of his datapad, letting it fall onto his lap before looking over at Kraglin slowly. The scrawny Xandarian was standing just to the side of the captain’s chair, fidgeting and lookin’ mighty uncomfortable for some reason. Yondu narrowed red eyes. 

“What that boy do now?” 

“Nothin’ bad!” Kraglin said, holding his hands up as if to stop a sudden blow to the face. Yondu waved at him impatiently, wantin’ him to get on with it. “S’just... boy’s seventeen now, an’ there ain’t nothin’ wrong with it none or anythin’ but, it’s just...” 

“Obfonteri, get on with it already or I’m gonna send my arrow through yer d’ast head.” 

“I went to get Quill fer some more lessons with the M-Ship – he’s gettin’ the complicated manoeuvres down real well, Cap’n – and he wasn’t answerin’ my knocks so I jus’ opened the door like I usually do, an’ Cap’n. I just. I never wanna walk in on somethin’ like that again.” 

Yondu blinked, took in Kraglin’s uncomfortable expression once more, and somethin’ clicked in his head. He brought a hand up to cover his eyes, rubbin’ at his temples slowly. 

“Boy discovered his hand did he.” 

“...Yessir.” 

Draggin’ his hand down his face, he took a moment to look at their funds and think over the last few heists and jobs before makin’ a decision. He pulled up the nav, punched in the coordinates for Contraxia, and set ‘em flying. 

“Right. Change of plans. We’re takin’ shore leave for a few days. Tell the rest of the crew, I’ll deal with the boy.” 

He stood up and left without letting Kraglin say anythin’ else, making his way through corridors and down a few levels until he reached the closet Quill had yet to give up. 

(Not that he was tryin’ all that hard to get him to give it up. But he wasn’t tellin’ anyone that.) 

He kicked at the door, waiting for a few minutes until it finally slid open and the terran boy peeked out. 

He’d gotten big, but was still a skinny li’l twig of a thing: pale with too-long hair and somehow still outgrowin’ his clothes in only a few months. He was gettin’ expensive to keep dressed, but anyone who mentioned that tended to get a Yaka an inch from their eye for their candour. 

He was also bright red, a little sweaty, and looked like he’d just stolen one of Yondu’s trinkets off the dash. 

“Kraglin told me what happened, boy.” 

“Please don’t give me the birds and the bees talk, _please_.” 

Yondu blinked, giving Quill a look. 

“What the hell has nookie gotta do with birds and bees? No, I ain’t givin’ you no talk. Best thing fer you t’do is learn firsthand. We’re headed to Contraxia, you ain’t t’head out to the market like you usually do. Got it?” 

“Wait, what? What’re you gonna do—”

“Jus’ do what I says, boy, don’t ask questions. This is uncomfortable enough as it is, don’t’chu think?” 

Quill gave Yondu a wide-eyed look, his expression warring with the desire to fight Yondu on everything (as was his habit) and just agreeing and never bringing up this conversation again. He winced, nodded quickly, and closed the door without another word. Yondu pinched the bridge of his nose and turned around to head back to the bridge. 

He was gettin’ too old for this shit. 

~+~

“Alright, boy, c’mon.” 

It was nearly evening on Contraxia, the trip over to the snowy planet taking longer if only because of distance. Yondu dragged Quill behind him, the other Ravagers spreading out and talkin’ amongst themselves, wonderin’ what the occasion was and finding things to do. Some went to courtesan houses, others to bars, and a few to hotels to just find a bed of their own and sleep by themselves for once. 

Yondu didn’t blame ‘em, really. Soon as he shoved Quill into a room, he was goin’ to find the nearest bar and get as shitfaced as he felt comfortable gettin’. 

Quill hadn’t made a peep since they left the _Eclector_ and headed down to the planet’s surface, awkward and stiff and stumbling after Yondu like a broken marionette of hisself. He had his backpack, his Walkman with the headphones just hanging off of his neck (he always had that damned thing), and his pistols and Yondu was pretty sure he had a knife on him, too. That was all well and good, and he was glad he’d bothered to get properly trussed up. 

Not that it would mean too much, but it was the principle of the thing, wasn’t it? 

He dragged the boy up to one of the smaller courtesan houses, knowin’ that his boys wouldn’t be there to ask questions and make fun of the boy. He saw the Head Madame as he neared it, holding a hand up as she came out to greet them. 

“Need one’a yer gentler bots, Madame,” he said, smilin’ at her; crooked, sharp teeth glinting gold and on display. She merely smiled back pleasantly, looking at Quill just behind his shoulder as if she knew exactly what this was for. 

“Of course, sir,” she said, bowing a little and turning with a swish of her robes. “Please follow me, I know just the one.” 

They went into the house proper, down a hallway and up a flight of stairs before down another hallway. Yondu didn’t like how far into the building they had to get; didn’t like that he couldn’t see the exits immediately and that he felt trapped. Said nothin’, but didn’t like it all the same. 

The Madame stopped in front of a door, punching in the code and opening it with a flourish of her hand. Yondu waited until she was gone before draggin’ Quill into the room. 

The bot sitting inside waiting was a pretty model. Soft blue with wide dark eyes and shoulder-length hair, she wasn’t the bright yellow firecrackers his boys and he tended to go for, which was exactly what he wanted. 

“Now li’l lady,” he said, talkin’ directly to the bot, and she blinked at him and smiled, “this is the boy’s first time doin’ this. Ya gotta be patient with ‘im, alright? Teach ‘im and all’a that. Else he’s just gon’ be useless in the future.” 

“Hey!” 

Yondu ignored Quill, waiting until the bot took in the terms before she nodded. Yondu then turned to Quill, clapped his hands on his shoulders, and smiled at him. 

“Don’t fuck it up, son.” 

He left to Quill’s sputtering protests, the door sliding closed with a bang. 

~+~

“He gon’ be okay, Cap’n?” 

Yondu stared at the green contents of his glass, red eyes narrowed, before he shrugged a little. 

“Should be.” 

He then slammed back the drink, looked at the bartender, and waved for another. Kraglin watched him a little warily; nursing his second drink and watching his captain go through three more glasses. 

“...Right.” 

~+~

The next morning, a raging headache slamming behind his eyes and makin’ him irritable and likely to threaten anyone who so much as looked at him funny with his Yaka, Yondu went to go check on the boy. 

He was greeted by the bot, smiling at him pleasantly. 

“Peter’s just brushing his teeth!” she said, stepping aside as Yondu walked in. The room looked like he had seen it last, bed made and all, and he almost wondered what had happened before he told himself he really, _really_ did not want to know. “He told me that terrans need to brush their teeth in the morning and in the evening or else their breath smells horrible and no one wants to be around them!” 

“I can attest to tha’,” he muttered, pressin’ a hand to his temple and looking at the closed bathroom door. “I don’t need t’ask if anythin’ went wrong, right?” 

“Oh, no, Peter was very—”

“Thank you, that’s all, I’ll be goin’.” He turned back around, heading out of the room and to the hall again. He only stopped when he saw the Madame, holdin’ a hand out to get her attention. 

“Charge meals and the room on my tab, Madame,” he said, and she looked at him with something like knowing in her eyes before she left. Yondu frowned, rubbing at his temple again and headed back out into the streets. 

Kraglin came up to his right, walkin’ in step with him as he headed into the town proper to try and find some breakfast. And maybe a hangover cure. 

“I think most people would’a just. Talked about this sorta thing, Cap’n. Least, tha’s what I’ve been told.” 

“The hell kinda sense is that?” Yondu asked, looking back at Kraglin and scowling. “Talkin’ ain’t gonna explain shit all. Best t’just. Get the experience yerself. Screw up with someone it ain’t gon’ matter with.” 

It was a philosophy he had learned from Stakar, when he had been freed and Stakar had tossed him into normal life. He got the experience he needed, learned it through trial and error, and Stakar never told him shit all. Just said to learn it hisself and learn from his mistakes. It was sensible. It was how _he_ learned about this whole business. 

It didn’t involve tryin’ to explain things to a kid and embarrassin’ the both of ‘em to hell and back. 

“Now where the hell can I get some damned breakfast?” 

“This way, Cap’n.” 

~+~

He didn’t bother goin’ to check that evening, only told the Madame that the crew would be leavin’ in the morning and he’d be by to get the boy and pay his dues. The Madame agreed easily enough, still looking far too knowin’ for his liking, and he left without another word and found his own courtesan house. 

When he got up the next morning, the bot already turned off and the sun weakly shinin’ through the window, he pulled on his clothes and made his way back to the house he’d left Quill at. 

He was led to the room, where once again the bot opened the door with a pleasant smile. 

“Hello again, Captain Udonta!” 

Yondu blinked, lookin’ into the room to see Quill rifling through his backpack. He looked a little more comfortable in his skin and also like he’d actually slept some, and he scowled at the boy. 

“You talkin’ ‘bout me, boy?” 

“Oh, don’t get mad at him!” the bot stepped in front of him, dark eyes wide. “I asked.” 

“Anet, it’s okay,” Quill said, standing up and walkin’ over to the door, all without looking at Yondu. “He always gets mad at me.” 

“You don’t tell people ‘bout me, boy, thought we learned that from the _last_ time.” The last time bein’ the one and only time Yondu had gotten near Kree bounty hunters since he was young and still under Stakar’s protection. “You talk ‘bout anythin’ else?” 

“Mostly about his home planet, and what he missed,” the bot, Anet apparently, said with a smile. Yondu eyed her, wonderin’ why she was still up and workin’ when most courtesan bots turned themselves off after their job was done to preserve power. “Peter is a very pleasant young man! I very much enjoyed our time together, and his conversation. You should be very proud of your son.” 

Yondu stilled, and Quill made a choking noise, stepping between Anet and Yondu quickly. 

“Yondu isn’t my dad,” he said quickly, shaking his head. “God he’s not my dad. He’s just my captain. That’s all. Nothing else. No need for him to be proud of anything about me. It was nice meeting you, Anet, thank you for everything, we best be going before the crew wonders if one of us got killed.” 

“But Peter, what about what you told me last night—”

“Bye, Anet!” 

Quill dragged Yondu out of the room and down the hall a few steps before he seemed to realize what he was doing and stopped himself, letting go of Yondu as if his coat sleeve were suddenly on fire. Yondu straightened his jacket, takin’ his time, before he slowly turned to Quill. Quill avoided eye contact. 

“Didja do anything besides _talk_ to the bot, Mr Quill?” 

“...yessir.” 

Yondu narrowed his eyes, saw the red on his ears, and snorted. 

“Next time, boy, don’t make it a habit to have conversation with the thing. It ain’t its job.” 

“But she was nice! And it’s rude to not talk to someone! And I talk when I’m nervous! It just happened.” 

“ _Boy_ , I don’t need no damned details.” 

“I’m just _saying_!” 

“Getchur ass movin’ already, we got places t’be and we’re behind schedule ‘cause of this debacle.” He pushed at the boy’s back, moving him forward. Quill stumbled, looking back and glaring at Yondu. 

“You’re blaming _me_ —”

“I said get movin’ boy, don’t make me repeat myself again.” 

Quill sighed gustily, rolling his eyes and stomping down the hall. Yondu followed after him, passing the Madame as they went. 

She smiled at him knowingly, and Yondu cussed under his breath. 

~+~

He had just sat down on the captain’s chair, bringin’ up the nav to set their new course: Berhart, because there was a bounty on some fella’s head and it’d give them a good payday if they brought the head intact to the customer, when Kraglin came up beside him again. It felt a little too much like last time. 

“What is it now?” 

Kraglin was givin’ him an inscrutable look, the kind that said he was thinkin’ something but it was probably something he shouldn’t say out loud. He then shook his head, lookin’ to the observation windows. 

“I’m gon’ give Quill the day off from lessons, if that’s alright with you, Cap’n.” 

Yondu frowned, pickin’ at his teeth with his pinky before he snorted and nodded, setting their course and giving the order to set off. 

“Don’t make it a habit.” 

“Yes, Cap’n.”


End file.
